


Drowing

by Kanene_yaaay



Series: Sanders Sides English Fanfiction [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: And his famILY will definitely provide it, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deceit | Janus Sanders-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Janus needs a hug, M/M, Metaphor about suicide, Tw drowing, Tw sufocating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanene_yaaay/pseuds/Kanene_yaaay
Summary: Cold… Everything is cold and blue.Everywhere, in each millimeter which my look can pursuit, there is blue. In me, in my surroundings… Everything is cold and blue.Blue just like me.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Sanders Sides English Fanfiction [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728400
Kudos: 28





	Drowing

**Author's Note:**

> Heyioo, my lollipops! Whatz upp!?
> 
> Be welcomed to the strange case of the author who is physically unable to write an angst without a happy ending.
> 
> Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:
> 
> * This oneshot have: Characters losing their breath, drowing and metaphors about suicide.
> 
> * This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.
> 
> * Actually I wrote this last year. Dfghjujhgfrfghj. Procrastination yaaaay!! -w-)b.
> 
> * Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!
> 
> * There isn’t any shipp, but feel free to see them in a Romantic or Platonic Relationship!! ^w^)/

Cold… Everything is cold and blue.

Everywhere, in each millimeter which my look can pursuit, there is blue. In me, in my surroundings… Everything is cold and blue.

(Not that I’m really trying to see to a lot of things.

…. but even so…)

I look up. Up there is bright. It is yellow.

Yellow. Warm. Good.

But it’s there. Up there. So far away.

Away from the reach of my hands.

I am the core of disguise, aren’t I? A poisonous, cold-blooded snake.

This cold shouldn’t be bothering me that much. This cold, this humidity, should be my ‘normal’.

What Virgil always said when something was wrong?

_‘Take a deep breath.’_

Yes. Yes.

_‘Take a deep breath.’_

Yes. This… this is what I need to do. This will going to help me. This always help. I just… I just need…

_‘Take a deep breath.’_

\- JANUS

I didn’t want to open my eyes, however, it is him… Therefore it’s alright.

\- Janus, Janus. Look at me.

\- It is _not_ alright, Virgil – My voice came out in a calm tune, even with the cold, even with all that blue. The skin of the one wearing hoodie seemed funny under this color. His look attempted to break the barriers towards me. - I just _don’t_ need to breathe deeply.

\- No, no, no, Janus. Do not take a deep breath!! Don’t you dare to do this!

But I wanted. I wanted to do this so much. Just for a moment! Half of a minute, less than a second. Just a sip, an only one sip of oxygen.

\- He don’t have too much time. - Logan. That one was Logan, some part of my brain tell me this, albeit the entirety of its is focused in my desire to breathe deeply. This always works, right? This is always the answer. It’s always like that: Close your eyes, ignore everything. Breathe. Continue your work.

_‘Take a deep breath.’_

\- Janus, Janus. – My eyes went back to stare at Virgil, he seemed alarmed, worried. Why was he like that? Here was too much cold for this. For any of this. – Don’t do that, ok? Don’t take a deep breath. Please. Just that time. 

\- That is right, kiddo! – Patton showed up, taking my face onto his hands and directing it up, towards the Sun. – Look! We are almost there! We only need to rise up a little bit more, okay? We are here. We are so close. 

\- C-cold. – And blue. And breathless, without a single drop of oxygen, lacking of air air _air_. My body screamed for this. My head only focused on this. Oxygen. I needed it. I needed to…

_‘Take a deep breath.’_

My voice came out as a hoarse. I didn’t even realized I was like that. I just noticed the lack of oxygen. I wished to breathe more than anything else, but, there was something in their eyes… something in their words… which still preventing me from doing this.

\- We will not manage to succeed if we continue in this environment. He need to get away in a few instants!

Something held me from behind, propelling myself a little to the high, up, towards the warm, the light, the comfortable, yellow and good.

\- Come on! You’re not giving up like that! - Roman’s tune was a bit forced, probably because of the effort in lifting me up.

His voice was nice, I wanted to hear more, however, I knew that this wouldn’t happen while he carried me. I lifted my arm up and then pushed it down, then repeated the movement with my other arm, and then again, and again, and again, and again.

It hurts. Everything was hurting.

My vision was failing. My throat closing. I just wanted oxygen. I just wanted to get out of there. I wanted the good, the yellow, the warm.

I just… I just…

\- Don’t take deep breaths, okay? Everything is gonna be alright.

I didn’t wanted this gelid feeling anymore.

\- You’re almost there, kiddo. You’re doing an amazing, a really great job. You’re almost there.

I didn’t wanted all this blue. Air. Oxygen. I wanted oxygen. 

\- The time will be enough. It has to be enough. 

With each swimming stroke, I feel it all so close. Warm, the warm… the air. 

\- Keep going up!!

Warm, yellow, good and…

**_“Do not take a deep breath.”_ **

Warm, yellow, good and…

**_“One propulsion after other and…”_**

Warm, yellow, good and

**_“Don’t take deep breaths.”_**

Warm yellow good and

**_“I’m almost there and”_**

Warmyellowgoodand

**_“Almost.”_**

And warmyellowgoodand-

.

.

.

.

I broke to the surface.

**_Air._**

I take great sips of oxygen. Big and prolonged breathes. The Sun is in my face, heating the water sliding across my features. The wind is slightly chilly, but not nearly as much as the freezing feeling down there. It’s was just enough cold to works as a memory. I stared at the sky, which even with that huge shiny yellow sphere still painted in shades of a calm blue.

Maybe the cold and the blue never really stop to follow us.

\- You did it!! Oh, I am so, so, SO much proud of you!!! - Patton beamed, hugging me tightly. His voice lightly trembled. - You did it, my kiddo.

I answered his embrace, my arm muscles yet on fire, however the touch being too much soft and good to refuse. Between the act, my eyes met Virgil’s, who smiled in relief, the words gleaming in his glare showing more understanding about the situation than he would be comfortable to express.

\- Thank you for trusting me.

A hand firmly, yet so gentle, squeezed my shoulder, making me turn just to find the tired, proud toothy smile from the prince, inviting me to a high five.

\- It was a good fight.

Yes… A huge fight.

Unintentionally my glare was captured to Logan’s figure, who had his hands covering part of his face, quick, small giggles escaping a bit muffled by the gesture.

\- The time was enough. My dearest great Augusto Curry, it was enough.

\- We did it. - I allowed myself to murmur, finally being able to breathe deeply.

After all, taking deep breaths helps you in nearly 90% of all the problems.

Except when you are drowning.

A warm, so real, so good, feeling spread in my heart when they agree. It's not the end of the battle, but it's already a huge first step.

_\- We did it._

**Author's Note:**

> The poor baby ;-;
> 
> Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Find a new hobbie, remeber some good reasons to smile today, talk with the ones who you love and drink water! Byeioo!~


End file.
